How is this changing me

What happens when you commit to writing something every day? For one thing you learn to tolerate crap. Not everything you write it going to come out well. I’m rusty as fuck and what I write about has changed over the years. For a long time I was writing fiction. This kind of writing is different obviously. But it still requires me to get in front of the keyboard and let the flow happen. Sometimes I can crank out 2 or three post for scheduling on the blog then other times I work on longer pieces. Other time I write whole pages then just consign them to the crap folder because Dude they make no sense. Other times you get posts like this one where its just kind of freeform thought wandering around.

But it feels good. Everyday I come to the keyboard and have a place to just get out the stuff in my head. It doesn’t matter if its a story or rant. I have the agreement with myself that what I write can be anything. It doesn’t have to be post worthy, thankfully. I am beginning to remember things like grammar and punctuation rules but right now technique isn’t my goal (sorry to my english major friends who check in with the blog!) Consistency is my goal.

There is a bit of a ballsy conceit thats necessary in posting on a blog. I’m saying Hey look at me! Look what I can do! Pay attention to me! This is worth your time! I want to be heard and understood. But then I try to act like its ok if you don’t like it. My emotional skin is tough but it still sucks when I can’t get my point across or I read back over something and think man even I don’t know what I was trying to say.

Posting every day builds that emotional muscle. I can practice getting the words down. I can practice making my self knowable. I practice communicating. Wait is it communicating if it’s just one way? Yes? No? Maybe? Yes. Whatever. It’s what I’ve got. It is getting both harder and easier. Harder because I am expecting more of myself. I want my writing to get better so I’m asking more of myself as I write my stories down. Easier because I make it a habit of prioritizing the time to write. BIC baby!

So Thank you for your time!