I feel bad. I do not like the nurse that our company has come in once a week for everyone. I can’t put my finger on why. I’ve never had a bad interaction with her. She is knowledgeable, happy and polite. She gets along with everyone which means the guys from the plant actually come in and check in with her for health related things they used to let go. Go go preventative medicine! But barring all that I just don’t like her. I haven’t sat down to talk to her. Our interactions are just brief hellos and me signing her time card sometimes. There is no obvious reason for me to dislike her, but I do.
As a general rule I like most people. There are some who I just don’t get or who I have nothing in common with but in general I like most people I meet. It’s really puzzling to me when I come across someone that for no reason that I can determine my brain just says “Nope!” to being around them.
If I could just find one thing that I didn’t like then maybe I wouldn’t’ feel so grumpy about not liking her. I could point to that and go, “That really annoys me!” and be done with it. Instead here I am obsessing over it and feeling guilty for not liking a nice pleasant person that I interact with weekly. This not liking her makes me feel like one of those crazy old paranoid conspiracy theorists from a horror movie who actually turns out to be right when they accuse nice sweet Mrs. Flutterbutton of being the head of a secret demon raising cabal.
Is this really just my imagination run amok or am I picking up on something subconsciously that is setting off alarm bells in my head?